I guess the best thing to do when beginning a blog is to begin the story, right? Well...I won't bore all of you with the long details of my 27 years of life. I have kept blogs before, and found it to be therapeutic, however, long ago got out of the practice because I felt "obligated" to write something in it everyday, or to read others, and inevitably, ended up feeling guilty. However, given how my life has recently been flipped COMPLETELY upside down, figured I'd give it another shot. Here goes:
At 27, after 2 years of struggling with my job and feeling "valuable" at work, things were going well. I had been promoted, I was getting a handle on my money (starting to pay off massive credit card debt=yay!), and...I was engaged! I was so excited about getting married, and I truly felt that my fiance was "The One" for me. This past June, I was let go from my job. Don't really care to go into the details, but I was not happy about it, and wanted to leave on my terms. My fiance was very supportive of me, and assured me that he knew something better would come along. Fast forward to a month and a half later...August 4, 2010 to be exact, and that is the day that my fiance told me FOR GOOD that he wanted me out of his life, even though he loved me, cared about me, and wanted "the best" for me. While I should say I was devastated, I saw this breakup coming a mile away, and by the time it was over, I was actually relieved. No more living my life that way, I was finally DONE and could move on...except that we were living together, and that has posed challenges, such as very quickly having to move everything out. I did get to keep the dog though!
That brings me to where I'm at now, currently staying with my parents in Wilmington until I can find something job-wise. My good friend Mike has suggested moving out of state and "starting anew", and honestly, I have to say, that that idea made sense to me. Before I wanted to stay in my former city, but I think doing an "overhaul" and cutting out people and places associated with him (restaurants we went to, some of his friends that claimed to be "my friend,"--when they were anything but, etc). I don't want to sound bitter...yes, I do have bitterness and anger, that I am currently trying to work on. But more than anything, I think this will be a great opportunity for me to focus on myself. I had been thinking for some time about a career change, and am considering going back to school to get my teacher license (too bad teacher jobs are not plentiful). Right now, I have a mental list of cities that I would like to possibly relocate to, such as Charleston, SC; Greenville, SC; Charlottesville, VA; pretty much anywhere in Tennessee, and Ohio (I like Columbus). We will see...I'd like to say that it's my decision, but I'd like to place that decision in God's hands. You see, in my relationship with my fiance, I did not always put God first the way that I feel I needed to. I'm beginning to learn incredible life lessons from my broken engagement.
I also want to just say that I have been incredibly blessed!! The amount of prayers, love, support and encouragement that I have received is truly overwhelming. I'm thankful to all of my family, friends and my community via Facebook, as everybody has really reached out to me and covered me with prayers and love. I feel God's presence in all this mess, and THAT is incredibly awesome.
I'll post more later...probably should get some sleep!
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